wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
