we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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