I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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