My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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