Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
