you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gargled with NyQuil
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize