I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
