Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
