She said her name was "party"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
