god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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