Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
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