he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
what day is it and did you see me today?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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