New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
