There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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