dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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