That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
