No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she looked like the before picture.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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