we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
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I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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