I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
