i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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