I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
