This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
