Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
