I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
