Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
worst night to have a conscience
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
that is very illegal...i love you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
