I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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