He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
