i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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