dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
