; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i now understand why vodka
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
