Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
