how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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