i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
