He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
