btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
