I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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