Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
