come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
