1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hippo gnu deer
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
