If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
