I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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