i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
