Screwed.edu
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize