Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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