when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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