I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
