I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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