I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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