Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
