Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
