i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Randomize
