ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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