I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
