i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
