I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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