Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
