I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
