absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Congratulations! We have a period
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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