another moral hangover. fuck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
