Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize